(…) There is another body present with yours. You cannot (anymore) ask it if you are dreaming. You are overwhelmed with emotion. What does this body represent? See if you can cry and speak at the same time. Look at your hands. Do they look normal? Are you looking through teary eyes?
Softly press the ring and little finger of your right hand into the palm of your right hand, while holding your other fingers together. Do you ever feel like all those who love you, may desert you? Ask yourself: am I dreaming? Am I even asleep? (…)
Seven sorrow checks for lucidity →

Cupio dissolvi (Rapture)

Exercise for non- →

(…) This is the part in the text where I've come to expect an epiphany, a revelation, something euphoric that enraptures the train of thought and brings about 'great shouts and leaps (possibly of a ritual nature)'36, an overcoming of challenges, an encouragement. This is where I've come to expect—almost to want—that a 'man ... perceives a heavenly light, a light that comes from heaven.'37 But what if I am not this man, not a man at all.
If God, the Son, is really the Word, Logos, then, here, in Paul's body, in my own, in my dysphoric silence, He has deserted us. Paul is, I am, at loss38. We stand ‘between two’39, our body, Paul's, mine, ours; naked. If the Word is Verbing, it is sighing, groaning, wanting, lacking—words that have us stand outside language. (…)
All these dwellings are temporary →

[violently oscillating]

/ →

Sorry, Nothing is Everything →

Extend. Limn

...(Rapture)

Please clarify to the reader from the outset that in this exercise, any previous understanding as coming forth from metaphorá, that is, transference, the changing of one thing into another (to displace), will not be of use. It must be understood that in this exercise when we speak of the eye, we do not create an idol of the eye that we worship in the stead of our unsayable (x). Rather, all that we can call into being by speaking of said eye is the light now emanating from this eye: light that we have called forth (not created) by our naming of the eye, which in turn we have not created as a placeholder, but as an eye. It must be understood that the eye exists, solely because this is crucial to the understanding that the light which now emanates from it exists, and that to look at ourselves we have to now look at this light, not just with it but into it. (…)
Instructions for phósphoros →

June 2016 (pp.70-71)

I would like to say (part 2) →

Extend. Missing u

[violently oscillating]

Cupio dissolvi (Rapture)